Harry's Singing Valentine (Book 2)

The excruciatingly embarrassing Singing Valentine that a grim-looking dwarf delivered to Harry in Book 2 Chapter 13. The song was anonymously commissioned by Ginny. (This was not Ginny's year!)

 

English

His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he's really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.

Several things in this English verse to look for in a translation:

1. The overall humorous effect.
2. The parallel similes in the first two lines.
3. The use of rhyme (this is unlikely to be reproduced in CJV languages, which tend not to use rhyme -- although ancient Chinese poetry did have elaborate rhyme schemes).
4. Although addressed to Harry, it refers to him in the third person as 'he'.
5. The word 'divine' literally means 'of the gods', 'godlike', but in popular usage is an expression of appreciation several notches above 'wonderful' in reference to adored ones, food, music, art, or other moving experiences.

Simplified Chinese (China)

他的眼睛绿得像刚腌过的癞蛤蟆， 他像黑板一样乌黑潇洒， 我希望他是我的，他真的很帅气， 是征服黑魔头的勇士。

Tā de yǎnjing lǜ de xiàng gāng yānguo de lài-hámá, Tā xiàng hēibǎn yíyàng wūhēi xiāosǎ, Wǒ xīwàng tā shì wǒ de, yīnwèi tā zhēn de hěn shuàiqì, Shì zhēngfú Hēimótóu de yǒngshì.

Succinct and largely faithful to the English. No attempt at reproducing a rhyme scheme.

The second line dispenses both with the parallel wording (possibly for stylistic reasons) as well as Harry's hair to say 'He is pitch-black, free and elegant like a blackboard.'

'Divine' emerges as 帅气 shuàiqì meaning 'handsome, elegant, graceful'.

 

Traditional Chinese (Taiwan)

他的眼睛綠得像是新鮮的醃蛤蟆， 他的頭髮黑得像是地上的爛泥巴， 我希望他變成我的人，因為他是這麼的神， 他就是打倒黑魔王的英雄頂呱呱。

Tā de yǎnjing lǜ de xiàng shì xīnxiān de yān-hámá, Tā de tóufa hēi de xiàng shì dìshàng de làn níbā, Wǒ xīwàng tā biànchéng wǒ de rén, yīnwèi tā shì zhème de shén, Tā jiù shì dǎdǎo Hēimówáng de yīngxióng dǐng guā guā.

This version attempts something like a rhyme scheme (lines 1, 3, and 4).

In order to fit the rhyme scheme, some changes have been made:

Line 2 compares Harry's hair not to a blackboard but to 地上的爛泥巴 dìshàng de làn níbā 'mushy mud on the ground'.
Line 4 adds 頂呱呱 dǐng guā guā ('tip-top, first-rate, excellent') to the end of the line, which adds to the flippant and humorous effect.

'Divine' is translated as 神 shén. This means 'god', 'supernatural', 'magical', 'spirit', 'mind', 'energy', or 'expression', but also has the colloquial meaning of 'smart, clever, incredible'. While it is a happy coincidence that 神 shén, like 'divine', means both 'godlike' and 'incredible', it unfortunately falls somewhat short of the tone of swooning romantic admiration carried by the word 'divine'.

 

Japanese

あなたの目は緑色、青い蛙の新漬のよう あなたの髪は真っ黒、黒板のよう あなたがわたしのものならいいのに。あなたは素敵 闇の帝王を征服した、あなたは英雄

Anata no me wa midori-iro, aoi kaeru no shin-zuke no yō Anata no kami wa makkuro, kokuban no yō Anata ga watashi no mono nara ii no ni. Anata wa suteki Yami no Teiō o seifuku shita, anata wa eiyū

The Japanese follows the English quite closely, capturing the simplicity of the English with clear and simple Japanese, including the parallel similes in the first two lines. The only difference is that the toad becomes an 青い蛙 aoi kaeru 'green frog'.

There is, not surprisingly, no attempt to reproduce a rhyme scheme, which is not found in Japanese poetry.

Note that the Valentine is addressed to あなた anata, 'you', not 'him' as in the English. あなた anata is used by Japanese women to their husbands.

'Divine' becomes 素敵 suteki, commonly used for people of the opposite sex whom one finds admirable and attractive.

 

Vietnamese

Mắt chàng xanh như cóc ngâm tươi rói Tóc chàng đen như tấm bảng đen Em ước sao chàng là của em Chàng quả thực siêu phàm Vị anh hùng đã chiến thắng trùm Hắc ám.

The Vietnamese follows the English quite closely. There is no rhyme scheme and line 4 is split into two separate lines.

The Vietnamese is addressed to 'chàng', which literally means 'young man' but is also equivalent 'you' when used by a wife to her husband. Similarly, 'em', 'younger sister', is a personal pronoun used by women.

The Vietnamese misses the mark on 'divine' with 'siêu phàm', which means 'eminent, outstanding, preternatural, superhuman'. The last line goes on to explain that Harry is 'siêu phàm' because ('vị') he defeated the Dark Lord.

 

Mongolian (1)

Түүний нүд нь шинэхэн давсалсан бахнаас ч ногоон Түүний үс нь самбараас ч хар Түүнийг минийх байгаасай гэж би хүснэ, тэр үнэхээр хурмастын хүү Тэр бол Хар Лордыг ялсан баатар.

Tüünii nüd n shinkheŋ davsalsaŋ bakhnaas ch nogooŋ Tüünii üs n sambaraas ch khar Tüüniig miniikh baigaasai gej bi khüsen, ter ünekheer khurmastiiŋ khüü Ter bol Khar Lordiig yalsaŋ baatar.

Mongolian (2)

Даршилсан бах шиг ногоон нүдтэй Ангийн самбар шиг хар үстэй Хар Лордыг ялж дийлсэн баатар Хамгаас дээд тэр минийг болоосой.

Darshilsaŋ bakh shig nogooŋ nüdtei Angiiŋ sambar shig khar üstei Khar Lordiig yalj diilseŋ baatar Khamgaas deed ter miniig boloosoi